News Nibbles from around the Country

Limerick

Michael Noonan aka Skint Piggy believes that a plan put forward by Sacks of Gold to take over the countries debt is a distinct possibility. A spokesperson for SOG Miss Goldie Sucks stated Ireland had a great oral tradition and that this would be of great benefit in the field of corporate entertainment

Mayo

Speaking in Westport Co. Mayo Le Grand Dame, the Taoiseach refused to be verbally tempted on the subject of gay marriage.

Cavan

As Sean Quinn, supporters disperse in Cavan after support march; A local man  said can’t believe they forgot to sing “The mighty Quinn“.

Dáiland

There are many men of principle in all parties in the Dáil, but there is no party of principle.

Wexford

Sources close to Mick Wallace say he will offer to cut off his hair and wear a hair suit for remainder of Dáil term if the members of the Dáil forgive him for waywardness.

His plea for leniency  met with a chorus of boos and catcalls. Yellow belly

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Co. Elsewhere

“Giving money and power to the government is like giving car keys and whisky to teenage boys.”

“When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.”

“Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty — their power and privilege — to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever.  This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by … politicians.”

“God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell.”

“Politicians are interested in people.  Not that this is always a virtue.  Fleas are interested in dogs.” > P.J.O’rourke

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