Cigarette that kills non-smokers launched
Still wonderfully relaxing, plus you don’t die horribly
Quantum Fags were developed by scientists who believe passionately that cigarettes were killing the wrong people, as non-smokers are generally more annoying.
They developed nicotine particles that can exist simultaneously in two places at once.
The pleasure-giving chemicals remaining within the smokers’ lungs while the deadly stuff teleports into the nearest non-smoker, making them cough terribly.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Someone who hasn’t smoked their whole life, and more to the point wouldn’t hesitate to tell you about it, will find themselves wheezing like a dinner lady.
“Thus society can remove its priggish killjoys by furiously smoking them to death whilst having a bloody good time in the process.”
Smoker Roy Hobbs said: “I have always felt it was unfair that smoking kills you. Much better that a total stranger should die.
“Will their fingers turn yellow? That would be really clever.”
Posted on November 5, 2012, in Health, Uncategorized and tagged Cigarette, Health, Smoking, Smoking cessation, Specific Substances, Tobacco, Tobacco smoking, University of Nottingham. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.