The Hickenlooper: A Fracking Perfect Valentine’s Day Cocktail

As the founder of a microbrewery, Gov. John Hickenlooper (D-CO) is among our nation’s top experts on quirky libations. Which is why it wasn’t surprising to find him telling a U.S. Senate committee that he drank a glass of fracking fluid produced by Halliburton:

“You can drink it. We did drink it around the table, almost ritual-like  in a funny way,” he told the Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources. “It was a demonstration…they’ve invested millions of dollars in what is a benign fluid in every sense.”

Move over bacon-infused bourbon! Some elements of the fluid remain secret, but with the help of Halliburton’s public disclosures, you can recreate The Hickenlooper for whomever you’re fracking this Valentine’s Day:

* Add 9 parts water to a shaker.

* Add Tributyl tetradecyl phosphonium chloride at a concentration of 0.3 gal/1000 gal. According to Halliburton, this substance “May cause eye and skin burns. May cause respiratory irritation. May be harmful if swallowed. May be harmful if inhaled.” That may be why there’s currently a fracking moratorium in New York State, but that’s what makes this a prohibition cocktail.

* Add 1 part sand. Halliburton recommends “premium white” sand, but you can go mid-shelf if you’re on a budget.

* Shake well and serve!

via The Hickenlooper: A Fracking Perfect Valentine’s Day Cocktail | Blog | Political Humor Satire | Comedy Central Indecision.

via The Hickenlooper: A Fracking Perfect Valentine’s Day Cocktail | Blog | Political Humor Satire | Comedy Central Indecision.