Supreme Court to rule on eating shellfish


THE US Supreme Court is debating whether America should follow Biblical laws on eating shellfish.

Right or wrong?

The ban on ‘whatever is in the seas and waters that does not have fins or scales’ is passionately supported by conservatives.

However it faces opposition from Americans who experimented with shellfish in their youth, or have relatives or friends who have eaten shrimp.

Meanwhile, Republicans are accused of making political capital by fomenting hatred against so-called ‘Godless big-city mollusc-munchers’.

Norman Steele, from Dallas, said: “The Lord had it right, these are detestable things. Like it says on my t-shirt, flag and car – GOD HATES CRABS.”

But Tom Booker, from Pasadena, said: “We’re not forcing anyone to do anything they don’t want to. Why can’t you enjoy your chicken just because I’m lustily devouring a big shiny red lobster?”

Nikki Hollis, from Chicago, added: “If my friends and I want to munch on a juicy oyster, that’s what we’re going to do.

“These small-minded people are just losing their shit because secretly they want to feast on bivalves.”

The pro-shellfish lobby has accused their opponents of ignoring other verses of Leviticus which prohibit tattoos, wearing garments of mixed fabric, and homosexuality.

Norman Steele said: “Shit, I don’t care if a couple o’ dudes want to ride each other’s assholes all night – ain’t none of my beeswax. Long as they ain’t eatin’ no scallops at the same time.”

via Supreme Court to rule on eating shellfish.

via Supreme Court to rule on eating shellfish.

About Old Boy

Love the past and the future but live in the present

Posted on April 6, 2013, in Government, politics, Religion and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I’ve had a fear of shrimp, lobsters, and most shellfish most of my life. My Dad lied to me about these fried things not being shrimp and I was sick the next day, so maybe my instinct was working for me.

    Shellfish are bottom feeders and eat the ocean’s waste. Pigs eat waste as well and of all the meats they are the hardest to rid the neat of all the parasites that would give you worms, dehydration. So when I see these scriptures in the Bible I think of it as God giving us medical advice for things we’re advanced enough to understand yet, ecspecially since the Jews were more vunerable to dehydration from parasites in pork in the desert.

    I don’t know and am kind and am kind of scared with the government havIng that much power over us, although I agree with protecting whales. What is the condition of the shellfish now? Are they consuming harmful substances now like from the oil spill, nuclear waste that would harm us? I was studying sea cucumbers today and trying to see how they fare around nuclear contaminated water. How much can they clean the ocean and to what extent can the ocean clense itself?

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