USA to lose licence to use English language
The current 250 year licence granted to the USA to use English as its official language is due to expire at the end of January 2014. The licence was originally granted by King George III and intended as a stop-gap till the colony (as it was then) decided on it’s own language between Arapahoe, French or Spanish.
The new House of Representatives is facing a difficult decision but will probably opt to move to Spanish in the near future. Already 26% of US citizens speak Spanish and California has already experimented with shop assistants pretending not to understand English speaking customers.
The probability is that illegal immigrants from Mexico will now be given teaching jobs to bring the remaining US citizens up to speed.
All official documents such as passports, drivers licenses and Costco membership cards will now need to be translated.
The President has assured the public than the language transition will run smoothly and that Goldman Sachs were organising a team to insure a smooth passage. GS has advised its clients to buy bonds in outsourced charter schools
via The Spoof : USA to lose licence to use English language funny satire story.
via The Spoof : USA to lose licence to use English language funny satire story.
Posted on April 17, 2013, in buisiness, Government, International affairs, Nonsense, politics, UK, USA and tagged California, Costco, EDUCATION, English language, Goldman sachs, Mexico, Official language, Spanish language, United State. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
If the present government of the UK get wind of this, they may try to charge the USA for it – then we can reinstate benefits, education and health policies.
I have heard on the grapevine that the government are going to tax the speaking of English in the UK. They also have a penalty clause plan resulting in fines for incorrect grammar usage …should be a money spinner.The plan is to contact out the idea. Goldman Sachs are the frontrunners to win the contract. They may look for a monetary supplement of stg 3 billion from the Government to implement the plan.The Government have said no bother we will raise this from the taxpayer. Sorry no reinstatement of benefits
I’d rather hoped that the Global Firm who are appointed to run the health benefits – ATOS – would be involved as they can shake the government for more cash!
ATOS INDEED A GREAT COMPANY…Brain-damaged amputee fit for work, says Atos(Independant 24th March). The executive in charge of running medical assessments for benefits claims at Atos Healthcare has offered an apology to those long-term sick it has incorrectly assessed as being “fit for work”(The Guardian 17Th April). Looks like the gangsters are everywhere
The latest is that yesterday they declared Margaret Thatcher fit for work!
Thanks for the info I hear she is raising taxes so her sun may embark on more foreign adventures