A&E departments urged to hide where stupid people can’t find them


images (4)

A&E departments have been told they could relieve significant pressure on their staff by hiding from the sort of people who get vacuum attachments stuck up their arses.

The College of Emergency Medicine claimed that unless something changes, A&E departments will soon be overrun by morons suffering with entirely preventable injuries.

A spokesperson explained, “We can handle broken limbs, falls, heart attacks and even the odd elderly tumble.”

“What we can’t handle is your pissed mate thinking he can jump over a moving car, or wondering whether the shampoo bottle would fit up his arse.”

“Some sort of IQ test before we let them in would be ideal, but possibly a bit impractical.”

“Maybe it would just be easier to hide the A&E department where stupid people would never go, like the library?”

A&E departments under pressure

Medical experts have said moving the A&E department where stupid people can’t find it would have a number of other benefits, beyond relieving pressure on overworked doctors and nurses.

Consultant Simon Williams told us, “This has the added benefit of weeding out the mentally weak, who might not survive whatever ridiculous self-inflicted injury they’ve suffered – and therefore help the rest of society indirectly.”

“Imagine a world where people who would put a light bulb up their arse don’t exist – this move could make that world a reality.”

via A&E departments urged to hide where stupid people can’t find them.

via A&E departments urged to hide where stupid people can’t find them.

Advertisements

About Old Boy

Love the past and the future but live in the present

Posted on May 22, 2013, in comedy, Government, Health, politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Anybody Got A Match?

A Modern Look at Classic Hollywood

wildfiremovies

An award-winning filmmaker and screenwriter talks movies.

Sophia Riley Kobacker

it's all about the story, possums...

Through the Shattered Lens

Where mainstream meets grindhouse, exploitation, otaku and gamers

The Darkest Art

A journey through dark art.

Chaplin-Keaton-Lloyd film locations (and more)

by John Bengtson "the great detective of silent film locations" New York Times

Silver Screenings

an irreverent blog of old movies

Like For Real Dough

For Those Who Wish To Be Entertained

off the leash

History, technology, books and baseball.

LEANNE COLE

Fine Art Photographer ~ Daring to be Different

Tripambitions

It contains the world best places and things.

Mademoiselle FANTASY

one person, one blog

Mary Miley's Roaring Twenties

A Unique Decade in American History

Cinematic

Read My Thoughts on Film, Television, and Music

I Found it at the Movies

My Life as a Movie Lover

Canadian Cinephile

"For me, cinema is a vice. I love it intimately." Fritz Lang

Dispatches from the Asylum

I believe in only one thing and that thing is human liberty ~ H.L. Mencken

Jacolette:

a gallery of Irish snapshot and vernacular photography.

lifesdailylessonsblog

Exploring life lessons though the Arts

Classic for a Reason

Reviews of Classic Films

Burrello Submarine's Movie Blog

cinema esoterica obscura

Motion Picture Blog

Indie Film Reviews & Essential Film Lists

First Night Design

Art, Design, Theatre, Literature, History, Food, Laughter ...

Paddy Healy's Blog

In defence of Education and the Public Services

shivashishspeaks

ALL U WANNA KNOW

Riding the High Country

Reviews and ramblings

Movies Tavern

Horror e Exploitation, B-Movies & Trash, Rarità e Capolavori. Insomma, ciò che mi piace.

CravenWild

The life and times of a filmmaker: fashion, beauty, books and life.

spearfruit

....................................it's my life

vinnieh

Movie reviews and anything else that comes to mind

renxkyoko's space

Just another WordPress.com site

TheMarckoguy

"TheMarckoguy" is the alternate name for Markus. Markus is a human who reviews stuff.

Tippity Tappin Away in the Coffee Shop

I write a lot, and I wanted a place to share my flash fiction stories.

/ EXPERIENCE OF THINKING / EXPÉRIENCE DE PENSÉE / ESPERIENZA DI PENSIERO /

The world is everything that is the case. --- Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Erin's Movie corner

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

Come Here To Me!

Dublin Life & Culture.

Ghost Dog

Notes From the Underground with Pictures

Karmic Reaction Blog

:Arts, Culture, History, Music, Politics, Science, Writing:

Product of Half-glass.com

An average guy capable of discussing TV & film on a higher level but would rather do it from the couch.

Kate Bowyers Media Adventure

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

Reel Realities

A blog about my love for movies

%d bloggers like this: