A&E departments urged to hide where stupid people can’t find them


images (4)

A&E departments have been told they could relieve significant pressure on their staff by hiding from the sort of people who get vacuum attachments stuck up their arses.

The College of Emergency Medicine claimed that unless something changes, A&E departments will soon be overrun by morons suffering with entirely preventable injuries.

A spokesperson explained, “We can handle broken limbs, falls, heart attacks and even the odd elderly tumble.”

“What we can’t handle is your pissed mate thinking he can jump over a moving car, or wondering whether the shampoo bottle would fit up his arse.”

“Some sort of IQ test before we let them in would be ideal, but possibly a bit impractical.”

“Maybe it would just be easier to hide the A&E department where stupid people would never go, like the library?”

A&E departments under pressure

Medical experts have said moving the A&E department where stupid people can’t find it would have a number of other benefits, beyond relieving pressure on overworked doctors and nurses.

Consultant Simon Williams told us, “This has the added benefit of weeding out the mentally weak, who might not survive whatever ridiculous self-inflicted injury they’ve suffered – and therefore help the rest of society indirectly.”

“Imagine a world where people who would put a light bulb up their arse don’t exist – this move could make that world a reality.”

via A&E departments urged to hide where stupid people can’t find them.

via A&E departments urged to hide where stupid people can’t find them.

Advertisements

About Old Boy

Love the past and the future but live in the present

Posted on May 22, 2013, in comedy, Government, Health, politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Canadian Cinephile

"For me, cinema is a vice. I love it intimately." Fritz Lang

Dispatches from the Asylum

I believe in only one thing and that thing is human liberty ~ H.L. Mencken

Jacolette:

a gallery of Irish snapshot and vernacular photography.

lifesdailylessonsblog

Exploring life lessons though the Arts

Classic for a Reason

Reviews of Classic Films from the Golden Age of Hollywood

Burrello Submarine's Movie Blog

cinema esoterica obscura

Motion Picture Blog

Indie Film Reviews & Recommendations

First Night Design

Art, Design, Theatre, Literature, History, Food, Laughter ...

Paddy Healy's Blog

In defence of Education and the Public Services

shivashishspeaks

ALL U WANNA KNOW

Riding the High Country

Reviews and ramblings

Movies Tavern

Horror e Exploitation, B-Movies & Trash, Rarità e Capolavori. Insomma, ciò che mi piace.

CravenWild

The life and times of a filmmaker: fashion, beauty, books and life.

spearfruit

....................................it's my life

vinnieh

Movie reviews and anything else that comes to mind

renxkyoko's space

Just another WordPress.com site

TheMarckoguy

"TheMarckoguy" is the alternate name for Markus. Markus is a human who reviews stuff.

Tippity Tappin Away in the Coffee Shop

I write a lot, and I wanted a place to share my flash fiction stories.

/ EXPERIENCE OF THINKING / EXPÉRIENCE DE PENSÉE / ESPERIENZA DI PENSIERO /

The world is everything that is the case. --- Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Erin's Movie corner

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

Come Here To Me!

Dublin Life & Culture.

Ghost Dog

Notes From the Underground with Pictures

Karmic Reaction Blog

#Arts/#Culture/#History/#Music/#Politics/#Science/#Writing

Product of Half-glass.com

An average guy capable of discussing TV & film on a higher level but would rather do it from the couch.

Kate Bowyers Media Adventure

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

Reel Realities

A blog about my love for movies

Silent-ology

Uncovering the silent era

American History-8th Block

Made by Alyssa Carlton

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days

Celebrating History and Horror Films

Gizmo February

The Literary Explorations of a Bulldog

Year of Horror

One full year of clammy hands and sweaty butt cheeks

Danyeti

Design as understood by Danielle

Bradley's Basement

Tim Bradley's Blog

Champagne for Lunch

"Only on special occasions."

Save Celluloid

Information on Film Preservation and Restoration

Media coursework

By George Milton

Ciryan

Crazy,Batty

Nitrate Diva

Old Movies. Fresh Takes.

Kid Slender

Let all the children boogie

%d bloggers like this: