‘Please stop killing each other in my name, I don’t exist,’ clarifies God


God has spoken out for the first time in pretty much two thousand years in an effort to distance himself from the continuing acts of barbarity carried out in his name around the world, claiming non-existence in his defence.

‘Honestly, it’s fuck all to do with me,’ God said,

‘I don’t care what you call me – Allah, God, Yahweh, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever – It really doesn’t matter because I don’t exist. Seriously, can you please stop killing each other in my name, which isn’t real by the way, because even if it were it still wouldn’t be any kind of justification whatsoever.’

God continued, ‘And for all those thinking, ‘Hang on a minute, how is God saying all these things despite the fact he says he doesn’t exist?’ Well let me tell you something, it takes about as much effort in terms of cognitive dissonance to say that I don’t exist despite all evidence to the contrary as it does to believe I do exist without a shred of evidence of any kind whatsoever. I mean, come on, think about it for a moment.’

When asked precisely what humanity should believe in in the wake of his declaration of non-existence God replied,

‘How the hell should I know? Maybe you’re all part of some weird experiment conducted by aliens, or perhaps you’re just the product of sheer astronomical dumb luck. Or, how about this – it might not even mean anything to ask the question in the first place. Have you thought about that?’

God added, ‘But in the meantime, in my absence, please, please, please – I can’t stress this enough – just try and be nice to one another.’

via ‘Please stop killing each other in my name, I don’t exist,’ clarifies God | NewsBiscuit.

Advertisements

About Old Boy

Love the past and the future but live in the present

Posted on June 11, 2013, in Religion, War and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Essence Within

Silently, the grass grows.

FLOW ART STATION

THE CONTEMPORARY MAGAZINE

21st Century Films

Film Analysis, Essays, and Short Stories

swo8

Music means something

Discobar Bizar

Welkom op de blog van Discobar Bizar. Druk gerust wat op de andere knoppen ook, of lees het aangrijpende verhaal van Hurricane Willem nu je hier bent. Welcome to the blog of Discobar Bizar, feel free to push some of the other buttons, or to read the gripping story of Hurricane Willem whilst you are here!

Playing by My Own Rules

Cancer Messed with the Wrong Hellion

manologo

pienso y recuerdo...luego, existo

When the Whippoorwill sings

Queer Supernatural Romance and Horror Erotica

Noellie's Place

Life is brutal at times but always offers beauty and love to soften the blows if you open your hearts eye

After Credits Corner

There's a million films I haven't seen. Just you wait...

Reel Time Flicks

Film reviews and news, everyone's a critic! Welcome to the drinking blog with a film problem.

Baz Allen

Archive

Silents, Please!

interesting avenues in silent film history

Superduque

Mi patria es todo el mundo.

WRITE THEM ALL.

THOUGHTS. FEELINGS. MEMORIES.

Budget Traveler

Travel Guide, Blog & Reviews

The Conglomerate Lode

Mining thoughts, opinions, and experiences that enter the eyes the front door to the grey matter

La Audacia de Aquiles

"El Mundo Visible es Sólo un Pretexto" / "The Visible World is Just a Pretext".-

CINESPIRIA

Shining a light on the deep recesses of film history

Dr. Grob's Animation Review

The animation film review site

Genç Yazarlar Kulübü

Edebiyat burda, kahve tadında.

Alfred Eaker's The BlueMahler

Alfred Eaker's art (painting & film), reviews and essays. BlueMahler is a performance art character first created by Eaker at the John Herron School of Art in the early 1980s.

Master Mix Movies

One Movie at a Time

Jason's Movie Blog

A Movie Blog for the Latest Movie Reviews, Trailers, and More

Purple Pants

Presenting Life Delicacies with a Pinch of Salt

La Page @Mélie

Contre le blues, le meilleur remède, c'est le rock...!

simple Ula

I want to be rich. Rich in love, rich in health, rich in laughter, rich in adventure and rich in knowledge. You?

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

Prestridge²

Independent journalism on the things we love - money, film and the arts

smithartonline

Art, education and ruminations

Exclusivito

Confessions of a book-traveller

Kitchen Scenes

Performance Art Based Video & Film

My Life as an Artist (2)

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Paperback Cinema

Never judge a book by its movie.

CURNBLOG

Movies, thoughts, thoughts about movies.

Widdershins Worlds

WRITING LESBIAN FICTION, SCIENCE FICTION, AND FANTASY, SINCE THE 20TH CENTURY

SKYLINE REPORTS

comedy magazine

Flicks and Pieces

Film & TV Reviews, News & Musings

MovieBabble

The Casual Way to Discuss Movies

seriesdefilms

Pour ceux qui se font des films en séries!

Plain, Simple Tom Reviews

Musings on film and TV, old and new.

Rarest Kind of Best

Talking about children's books and films. Useful information for parents.

Outspoken and Freckled

Kellee writes about classic & modern film, retro TV... and life's adventures, with a sassy Irish passion.

%d bloggers like this: