Pope fails to give birth


Tens of thousands of Brazilian pilgrims were left disappointed today, by the pontiff’s inability to produce a Royal Baby. Although Pope Francis promised to bring people to the ‘open arms of Christ the Redeemer’, there is a sense that the Duchess of Cambridge has ‘raised the bar’ for global figures.

While the rest of the world is gripped by baby fever, the head of the Catholic Church has stubbornly refused ‘to take one for the team’. A reproducing Bishop of Rome could allow for more youthful Popes, an hereditary College of Cardinals and lucrative reality TV shows. Many priests have been valiantly trying for to get altar boys pregnant for generations, but Pope Francis has so far avoided opening his papal womb to the public. ‘The Vatican has been ‘dining-out’ on this one miracle birth for two thousand years,’ criticised one reporter. ‘Whereas your Windsors, they’ve been popping out sprogs left, right and centre. Some of them even in wedlock!’

Crowds flooded to Rio de Janeiro, with mothers holding up babies as visual clues for Pope Francis or in some cases passing him bouquets of flowers in the hope of pollinating him. Later the Pope ironically visited Our Lady of the Conception, but completely failed to inseminate himself. Protestors began to line the streets as soon as it became known that his vestments were not concealing ‘a baby bump’. Police were forced to fire tear gas and said a homemade explosive device was discovered at the shrine. One Cardinal commented: ‘We are in the wonderment business, so the miracle of childbirth should be something any Pope can do’.

via Pope fails to give birth | NewsBiscuit.

Advertisements

About Old Boy

Love the past and the future but live in the present

Posted on July 28, 2013, in Catholic, comedy, Religion and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Come Here To Me!

Dublin Life & Culture.

Ghost Dog

Notes From the Underground with Pictures

karmicreaction.wordpress.com/

Karmic Reaction Blog

Random Crits

An average guy capable of discussing TV & film on a higher level but would rather do it from the couch.

Kate Bowyers Media Adventure

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

The Motion Pictures

Lindsey D.'s ramblings on the moving image!

Reel Realities

A blog about my love for movies

Silent-ology

Uncovering the silent era

The Great Depression

Made by Alyssa Carlton

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days

Celebrating History and Horror Films

Gizmo February

The Literary Explorations of a Bulldog

Year of Horror

One full year of clammy hands and sweaty butt cheeks

Danyeti

Design as understood by Danielle

Bradley's Basement

Tim Bradley's Blog

Save Celluloid

Information on Film Preservation and Restoration

Media coursework

By George Milton

Ciryan

Crazy,Batty

Nitrate Diva

Old Movies. Fresh Takes.

Kid Slender

Let all the children boogie

Gizmo December

The Literary Explorations of a Bulldog

tireakngroupal2media.wordpress.com/

Life is Light,Camera,Action

Gizmo May

The Literary Explorations of a Bulldog

Sly Wit

Random musings on all things cultural/Cultural

The Wonderful World of Cinema

This blog is all about cinema, movies and stars of every decades. It's wonderful!

A Simple Dose of Reality

a girl and her words

Tom's blog

nothing out of the ordinairy here

Views from the Sofa

Sharing News, Reviews and Views on Everything in TV and Movies

crackedrearviewer

Fresh takes on retro pop culture

ジェーン

Janeaneluna

Century Film Project

Celebrating the movies our ancestors loved

Writing Suzanne

Film. Television. Books. Beauty. Words.

ming movie reviews

in about 100 words or less

1001 Film Reviews

Working my way through the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die

1000 Films Blog

Two sisters attempt to watch all 1000 films recommended by Edgar Wright in his EVER CHANGING list

Balladeer's Blog

Singing the praises of things that slip through the cultural cracks

Sonia en Route

Photography and travels of Sonia Malysz

%d bloggers like this: