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27 Ways To Tell You’re Too Stoned


You really shouldn’t have smoked that whole joint by yourself.

1. Before it really kicks in, you make big plans to be productive…

Before it really kicks in, you make big plans to be productive...

Which lasts about five minutes.

Which lasts about five minutes.

2. Like you actually can’t get off the couch.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

3. Sleeping. Eating. Watching cartoons. This is your life now.

Sleeping. Eating. Watching cartoons. This is your life now.

4. Seriously, you can’t stop eating.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

5. Plus you make terrible dietary choices.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

6. You stop caring about pretty much everything.

You stop caring about pretty much everything.

7. Except getting another bag of chips.

Except getting another bag of chips.

8. And the quality of the weed you’re smoking.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

9. Nothing anyone says makes any sense.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

10. Because it takes about 20 minutes to process a simple thought.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

11. MeSource: biggaysteve666.tumblr.comanwhile you stop making sense to anyone else.

 

12. They can tell you’re stoned, and they’re JUDGING YOU.

They can tell you're stoned, and they're JUDGING YOU.

13. You think you’re being really profound, but you’re not.

You think you're being really profound, but you're not.

14. And everything becomes HILARIOUS.

And everything becomes HILARIOUS.

15. Like, so ridic funny. Like, you may never stop laughing.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

16. You’re easily entertained by the STUPIDEST things.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

17. And believe me, NO ONE ELSE is amused.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

18. Then you start to get really, really paranoid.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

19. Like you’re no longer sure you remember how to breathe.

Like you're no longer sure you remember how to breathe.

20. You don’t remember anything else either.

You don't remember anything else either.

21. You start to feel like you’re incapable of doing anything that ISN’T getting high.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

22. And, I mean, that’s kind of true.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

23. But you somehow convince yourself that marijuana is a performance enhancer.

But you somehow convince yourself that marijuana is a performance enhancer.

24. You forget how to behave sober.

You forget how to behave sober.

25. All the while you hope for some once-in-a-lifetime stoned experience.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

26. And instead you end up wasting hours on YouTube and staring off into space.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

27. But let’s face it, you were going to do that, anyway.

27 Ways To Tell You're Too Stoned

New Cigarette Drink Helping Restricted Smokers Worldwide  


LOS ANGELES – USA – A new nicotine cigarette drink is taking the world by storm because there is no smoke, it is safe to drink in public and it is cheaper than buying real cigarettes.

“This is an amazing innovation that will revolutionise the tobacco industry. You do not need to smoke a cigarette now, spill ash all over the place, get ciggy breath or be told to put it out in public. People can now enjoy our cigarettes anywhere, even in aeroplanes, court houses, schools, cafes, restaurants, gyms, wherever you want,” Dan Bottnik, brand marketing manager for the Philip Morris tobacco company told CNN Tuesday.

The main benefits of course will be for the health of smokers worldwide where coughing up a lung will now be a thing of the past.

The new Marlboro Light drinks will be released to the public with a grand ceremony in Beijing in the New Year.

“We decided that Beijing, China was the best place to introduce our product to the world because people here are such prolific smokers. Soon we will have menthol and Marlboro red pack drinks too,” the brand spokesman added.

Hollywood star, Charlie Sheen was said to be so enamoured by the new cigarette drinks that he said he wants a drip permanently in his arm filtering the drink into his veins. He will also be the face of the new Marlboro drinks in a multi million dollar sponsorship deal.

No more ash trays, butts or tobacco breath, this is a product made in heaven for smokers all over the world.

via New Cigarette Drink Helping Restricted Smokers Worldwide �.

via New Cigarette Drink Helping Restricted Smokers Worldwide  .

Cigarette that kills non-smokers launched


A NEW type of cigarette transfers its negative health effects to the nearest non-smoker.

Still wonderfully relaxing, plus you don’t die horribly

Quantum Fags were developed by scientists who believe passionately that cigarettes were killing the wrong people, as non-smokers are generally more annoying.

They developed nicotine particles that can exist simultaneously in two places at once.

The pleasure-giving chemicals remaining within the smokers’ lungs while the deadly stuff teleports into the nearest non-smoker, making them cough terribly.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Someone who hasn’t smoked their whole life, and more to the point wouldn’t hesitate to tell you about it, will find themselves wheezing like a dinner lady.

“Thus society can remove its priggish killjoys by furiously smoking them to death whilst having a bloody good time in the process.”

Smoker Roy Hobbs said: “I have always felt it was unfair that smoking kills you. Much better that a total stranger should die.

“Will their fingers turn yellow? That would be really clever.”

via Cigarette that kills non-smokers launched.

via Cigarette that kills non-smokers launched.

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