Somnium Americanum certum est quia impossibile est
“I’m standing in this piece of shit goddamn rubble city and saying to you Americans, I’m going to hand over the 17 Trillion dollar national debt I racked up to you and all future generations once I end my tenure as president. This was my American dream, and it’s going to be your American fu**ing nightmare. Thanks for voting for me — twice!” the jovial president said chuckling like a hyena.
The president then went on to his usual diatribe about how he is being hindered by Republicans in Congress and how none of the mess the country is currently in is his fault in any way.
A homeless army veteran onlooker to the whole sorry scene quipped: “This is what happens when Marxism mixes with Capitalism. In the Marine Corp. we used to call it a ‘clusterf*ck’.”
Yes, America, Al Jazeera is actually related to Osama Bin Laden, and is actually a person. He’s coming over to activate sleeper cells all over Americaland including Detroit where there are known terrorist cells, we know because a woman cunningly called Lisa Daftari told us that she had googled it so it must be true.
We think it’s great that Fox News managed to get someone whose own surname acts as a description of what she is saying. She basically doesn’t like this Al Jazeera thing entering America because, well, it’s anti-American isn’t it. It has a funny name. And it’s run by them Muslamics with BEARDS AND SHIT who blow things up and want to turn Americanland into some kind of Taliban theme-park where you basically cut peoples’ willies off and stone women all the time. Oh, and there’s no drink anywhere.
Here’s what DAFTari said:
The point is they want to differentiate themselves from their sister network, but at the same time, it’s the same thing. They’re having the same type of coverage. They’re apparently expanding to eight cities, including Detroit, Michigan. Detroit, Michigan is a large ex-pat community of Muslim-Americans and sleeper cells have been detected. You can Google this, you can find out all this information. So if you’re trying to set yourself apart the Qatari petro-dollars are backing this, you’re still developing in this area where the sleeper cells have been detected. They’re going to have do do much more to prove to me that they’re different from their sister network.
Mmm, do you see it? Do you see the link? A news network is moving to cities where there are SLEEPER CELLS of Muslamic bombers just waiting to blow America to bits (we know because we Googled it, using our own fingers and a keyboard, and it all came up on the screen), and the Qatari petro-dollars are backing this.
News network in Detroit = Muslims trying to kill America. That’s what they do.
And who is this Daftari woman anyway? Well, judging from her Wikipedia picture, she’s an Iranian woman who likes to show a bit of boob cleavage. No wonder she’s gone to America because if you think about it, you’re free to show tit in America, but not in Iran.
But she’s an opera singer and a pianist, too. She even has a Masters degree in journalism. So what the hey fuckity-fuck is she doing on Fox News spreading Islamophobia and stuff that someone with her brain ought to know are just, basically, lies? Is it Roop’s dollars?
Because this woman appears to have expertise. And some knowledge. An educated woman doesn’t appear on Fox News, and an educated woman doesn’t appear on Fox News saying that a rival news network is basically a front for beardy Muslims bombing America. It must be Roop’s dollars.
As Uncle Roop will remind us all, Qatar is bad, but Saudi Arabia is good.