Passing News Bites

 

Leo Varadkar/Cycle Routes

Minister for unused roads Leo Varadkar has instructed the national road’s authority to examine possible future cycle paths. The first proposed public route is Dublin/Galway. The Minster stated he would shortly implement this scheme, as there was no money left in the country to pay for fuel as the Government has now given away all domestic fuel to maintain the statues quo with offshore fuel.

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Central Statistics Office

New figures from the Central Statistics Office show that inflation rose to 2% in the year to August.

How can one believe figures when nobody has any money left to spend? Inflation is now the end product to the myth of disposable income.

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Rugby

Wasps rugby director David Young” It’s harder to qualify for the Heineken Cup from the Premiership than the Celtic league (RaboDirect PRO12). It does not seem fair.

We invented the game and it’s not right that those Irish teams keep winning…………im going to tell my mummy and take my ball home, so there!

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Siptu workers at Aer Lingus to strike

This is unlikely to happen, as SIPTU were unable to find any genuine workers.

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Get lost’ says Adams

They should be told to get lost.”

That is the reaction of Sinn Féin after the government’s economic advisors recommended even tougher budgets than planned by Michael Noonan.

Surly Jerry you mean disappeared.

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Department of Health explanation on emotional disorders

A nervous wreck: a man who has a house payment, a truck payment, a wife and a girlfriend…. and they’re all a month late!