Several TDs have attempted to raise the issue of penalty points being removed from people’s licences in the Dáil.
Mick Wallace, Clare Daly, Joan Collins and Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan all sought to speak about the matter but were prevented from doing so by the Leas Ceann Comhairle who said that Minister’s Questions was not the forum in which to raise the issue.
The gravy train Breakdown
Unvouched expenses must be open to all sorts of abuse in short a laugh.
TD salary: €92,672.
• Allowances for renting offices: €15,000 unvouched; €25,700 vouched.
• Secretarial assistant plus additional secretarial allowance: €41,092 vouched; or €8,888.17 unvouched plus an annual allowance of €11,591 vouched.
• Leinster House provides free telephone and postal facilities, including 1,250 prepaid envelopes a month.
• €750 every 18 months to buy a mobile phone and car kit, including installation costs and insurance.
• €8,000 one-off grant to set up an office outside Leinster House.
Taoiseach Enda Kenny donned a leprechaun outfit and shiny brogues in an effort to affect the outcome of a meeting with Angela Merkel where he outlined the desperate and pathetic state of the country which he believed had a “Fiscalholic” financing problem, “basically a disease” that was “genetic, so not really our fault, technically”.
In a move described as “Economic Trick or Treating”, Kenny approached Merkel with the hypothetical situation that if a retroactive bank bailout – or “treat” – was not forthcoming, a chronic and grinding European financial meltdown – or “trick” – would take place thanks to the jaw-droppingly large amounts of debt amassed by the state and the bone-headed repeat-performances of unwise investment and fiscal eejitry shown by the government and Irish citizens since the initial bust.
“We’re lost – we’re still all desperately buying small houses in the middle of nowhere for €400k. I see it as being like an abusive relationship, with the Irish people representing the battered wife, but also the abusive husband who – in a way – batters himself to punish himself for cheating on himself with himself – on himself but, also, TO himself WITH himself…if you get me.”
“BY himself, as well” he added.
An exciting new venture in Westmeath’s bustling Zombie District
“I just laid it all out for Angela and the Leprechun outfit really hammered my point home. I told her about our “Fiscalholic” nature and that our problems with money were down to a “disease” and that it wasn’t our fault, and to leave us off. I said that we were basically sound and just wanted to have the craic and that the weather was bad here all the time and all our kids are going to Australia and we’ll probably have another bad winter and that the roads needed mending. I told her about Mick Wallace, who doesn’t pay tax because he doesn’t want to, and nothing happens. I then told her about how it was Fianna Fáil‘s fault and the unions were at me and that the hospital consultants all laughed at me for driving an ’09 car.”
“I said that, really, if Europe wants to stay viable, she should make an effort to stem Irish emigration. We just show up and puke everywhere. That really made her think”.
Kenny did a series of forward-flips to round out his presentation to the German Chancellor who then clapped and whooped as the Taoiseach threw out chocolate Euros from a plastic “pot o’ gold” in a display of extreme irony
The Perpetual Ghost: Yawns, and mentally says here we go again. As he waits for the speeches to begin he notes that the cream of the opposition is made up by Independents and that the main opposition parties are but a shadow of themselves –he mentally chuckles
An Ceann Comhairle: I call Deputy Ó Cuív, who has six minutes.
Deputy Eamon Ó Cuív: I get an extra bonus late at night.
An Ceann Comhairle: That is because you are a good boy.
Deputy Éamon Ó Cuív: That is right. I try to be good every day.
My understanding is that we have approximately 4% of the fish available to us but 14% of the waters. The Minister maintains we get 15% of the fish caught and we have 14% of the waters.
Deputy Simon Coveney: That is in Irish waters.
Deputy Éamon Ó Cuív: I suggest that of the total European catch of fish, it is 4%.
Deputy Simon Coveney: Yes.
Deputy Éamon Ó Cuív: This means we are getting one quarter of our entitlement from the Common Fisheries Policy
The Perpetual Ghost: laughs and mentally communicates with the national audience of ghosts. A chorus of silent laughter echoes through the chamber “Boys everyone knows fisheries were sacrificed for farm subsidies”
Deputy Thomas Pringle: They have taken €500 billion from the seas around our coast in the intervening period and have left us with the scraps. One million tonnes of fish are taken from our waters every year out of which we take 170,000 tonnes.
Deputy Richard Boyd Barrett: It is a crime for an island country such as ours that the fishing industry is teetering on the brink of extinction. Our so-called partners are supposedly helping us but in fact they are burying us in the interests of big financial and corporate interests in Europe.
The Perpetual Ghost: This will be fun. The ace hypocrite will now speak.
(The PG is a Ghost who recalls the past in totality and can foresee the future)
Deputy Mick Wallace: We are depleting the oceans.
It reminds me of a saying by a Cree native North American tribe that only when the last tree has died, the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
The Perpetual Ghost: Observes the sayings of Wallace and allows himself a morally haughty smirk as he blows rings of ether with the words “Cowboy” dangling in the centre of the circle
Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Food (Deputy Simon Coveney)
I will try to respond to that profound comment at the end. Some of the commentary here has been inaccurate. The Irish fishing industry is not dying on its feet. Last year Irish fishing industry exports grew by 15%. T We also had some extremely wealthy people in the Irish fishing industry, in the pelagic sector in particular where there are 23 boats.
Deputy Martin Ferris: The Minister should compare the fleet size now and ten years ago.
Deputy Simon Coveney: The capacity for catch is just as high now. That said, I am not happy with the state of the industry.
I thank the Deputies for their frankness in contributing to the debate this evening. I certainly got a strong message from them and that will impact on the Government’s thinking.
The Perpetual Ghost: mutters the word Impact and laughs, oh my God government thinking, nonexistent, more thought emanates from the government crèche
The ghost knows that within the next year the only progress visible is fish dumped on the quayside of local fishing ports.
and how right he is.
The survey puts Fianna Fáil as the second most popular party, a position it hasn’t held for more than two years.
Yet the Communications Minister says they cannot be taken seriously.
“I find it very difficult to take Fianna Fáil seriously, given that the major issue that confronts the country is economic recovery.
“I’d rather take advice on my tax returns from Mick Wallace than take advice from Fianna Fáil on the economy. I really don’t take it too seriously.”
Mr Wallace walked into their weekly meeting in Leinster House today, even though numerous members do not want him back.
This led Mr McGrath to resign as chairman, and to walk out of the meeting. The Dublin Bay North TD had vowed to resign if Mr Wallace returned.
The Wexford TD does not need permission from the others to rejoin the group, which gives him more Dail speaking rights.
Under Dail rules, the group did not have the power to force him out in the first place, and there is nothing they can do to prevent him from rejoining. He initially left when controversy over his tax cheating first erupted in June.
In a statement, Mr McGrath said he is “fed up” with Mr Wallace.
“I am also appalled at the procedures in Dail Eireann, where rules force a group of Independent TDs to have a member that the vast majority don’t want,” Mr McGrath said.
He also took issue with Mr Wallace’s recent comments on loyalty within Leinster House, asking: “Loyalty to what? Tax evasion?”
He said when he went to collect the debt, he was told by the contracts manager at the company to “go to hell”.
Mr Wallace said he looked at getting the money through the legal process but was told by his solicitor it would take up to two years and he would be lucky to get €13,000, after costs.
He said the following night, he coincidentally met a debt collector in a pub and asked him how he might recover the money.
Mr Wallace said the man told him that for a fee of €4,000, he would “go out to his [the company owner’s] house at eight or nine o’clock at night and knock on his door. ‘I’d put my foot in the door and I’d have a gun with me and I’d give him seven days to pay and generally they pay.’”
Shortly after the incident, the Wexford TD said he arranged to meet a former employee who had moved to the company that owed him money.
“I said, ‘by the way I’m going to get my money from the contractor’.
“‘That’s great’ he says, ‘how did you do it?’
“I said, ‘I haven’t got it yet but I’m going to get it, this guy has guaranteed me I’m going to get it.’”
“I said, ‘well I hired a hitman and I explained to him how he was going to get the money,’” the Wexford TD said.
Mr Wallace recalled how two days later he received a phone call from the owner of the company to discuss the outstanding debt.
“I went to the office and I was there for about five minutes on my own, next thing he came in with the contracts manager – ‘will you take €15,000?’ and I said I’ll take €16,000.
“’’OK’ he said, and I got my €16,000.”
Mr Wallace concluded the interview by saying he would never have “sent a gunman” to the contractor’s door.
Michael Noonan aka Skint Piggy believes that a plan put forward by Sacks of Gold to take over the countries debt is a distinct possibility. A spokesperson for SOG Miss Goldie Sucks stated Ireland had a great oral tradition and that this would be of great benefit in the field of corporate entertainment
As Sean Quinn, supporters disperse in Cavan after support march; A local man said can’t believe they forgot to sing “The mighty Quinn“.
There are many men of principle in all parties in the Dáil, but there is no party of principle.
Sources close to Mick Wallace say he will offer to cut off his hair and wear a hair suit for remainder of Dáil term if the members of the Dáil forgive him for waywardness.
His plea for leniency met with a chorus of boos and catcalls. Yellow belly
“Giving money and power to the government is like giving car keys and whisky to teenage boys.”
“When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.”
“Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty — their power and privilege — to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by … politicians.”
“God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell.”
“Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.” > P.J.O’rourke
Workers and Unemployed Action Group (South Tipperary) at its Annual General Meeting has unanimously decided to withdraw from the United Left Alliance. WUAG will continue to campaign against government austerity, cuts in public services , against the household charge/property tax and for fair taxation including a wealth tax and higher taxes on the incomes of the super-rich.
Wallace seems to be the catalyst that’s splitting the ULA apart. What dim wits they were to take him on board in the first place.
Will the ULA now just fall apart and everyone go their separate ways.
Another dream bites the dust.
You probably won’t remember that that back in July there were rowdy scenes on the last day of school and Joe Higgins wore some sort of odd white cardigan…
TAX cheat Mick Wallace is claiming an extra Dail allowance worth €41,000 — after a year of not taking the cash.
The Irish Independent has learned that Mr Wallace started taking the controversial leader’s allowance, which is unvouched and untaxed, in recent months.
But the Independent TD has refused to say if he decided to draw down the payment following revelations about his massive €2.1m tax bill.
Mr Wallace said in June he would give up half his €92,000 TD’s salary to help pay his tax debt as part of an agreed settlement with Revenue.