Was deadly beating on North Sea island due to a dispute over the quality of his fusion cooking?
Miki Nozawa was well-known as a Japanese-Italian fusion chef who had cooked in some of the world’s finest restaurants. Now Nozawa may become more famous in death, following an alleged beating by two guests who reportedly did not enjoy their meal at his newly-opened Asian snackery Nozawa (“A Taste Of Asia To Go”) on the North Sea island Sylt, a fashionable German resort.
The men had complained to the chef that they didn’t like his fried noodles with vegetables and beef and refused to pay for their meal, reports Suddeutsche Zeitung.
Later that same evening, the 57-year-old chef happened to be at the same bar as the two guests, both craftsmen aged 36 and 50 respectively. As reported by the newspaper Bild, he is said to have told the men: “Pay your bill. Ten euros for each of you.”
After that, investigators say, a loud verbal exchange took place that escalated when they stepped outside. The disgruntled customers allegedly started beating Nozawa, who died several hours after he was brought to a local hospital. The exact cause of death has not yet been announced.
Before opening his own place on Sylt, Nozawa had worked in Italian entrepreneur Flavio Briatore’s renowned Billionaire restaurant on the island of Sardinia. He had cooked for Mikhail Gorbachev, Phil Collins, Denzel Washington and other celebrities.
Public prosecutor Ulrike Stahlmann-Liebelt stated that the alleged perpetrators were drunk when they attacked Nozawa. The alleged perpetrators are still at large.
The group is reported to have seized control of an inter-dimensional portal and is now intent on hurling random antimatter artefacts at ‘symbols of Unionist oppression’ in our reality. Due to the catastrophic relationship between matter and antimatter, these could be anything from sachets of McDonalds’ discontinued ‘Mild Mustard Sauce’ to pre-remastering Phil Collins CD reissues, to destroy most of Belfast.
‘This group is totally misguided’ declared Assistant Chief Constable Drew Harris. ‘not only in their retrograde nationalistic ideologies, but in their conflating of multi-dimensional quantum particle theory and the polarity between matter and antimatter.’
‘Even the likes of Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness now acknowledge that the latest breakthroughs in string theory preclude any kind of trans-dimensional threat without a nearby black hole. And we are policing Swansea very thoroughly at the moment…’