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Obama Says “American Dream” Alive and Well in Detroit  


Somnium Americanum certum est quia impossibile est

DETROIT – USABarack Hussein Obama today addressed the nation from a city that epitomises his tenure as President of the United States.

“I’m standing in this piece of shit goddamn rubble city and saying to you Americans, I’m going to hand over the 17 Trillion dollar national debt I racked up to you and all future generations once I end my tenure as president. This was my American dream, and it’s going to be your American fu**ing nightmare. Thanks for voting for me — twice!” the jovial president said chuckling like a hyena.

The president then went on to his usual diatribe about how he is being hindered by Republicans in Congress and how none of the mess the country is currently in is his fault in any way.

A homeless army veteran onlooker to the whole sorry scene quipped: “This is what happens when Marxism mixes with Capitalism. In the Marine Corp. we used to call it a ‘clusterf*ck’.”

via Obama Says “American Dream” Alive and Well in Detroit  .

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Donald Trump to get penis surgically removed from forehead


donald trump satire

Reality TV star and business magnate Donald Trump announced today that he will undergo surgery to remove genitalia from his upper facial region.

                                             A doctor analyses the problem

The delicate procedure – likely to take up to five hours – has never been attempted before. But doctors are hopeful Mr Trump will make a full recovery.

The star of The Apprentice said this morning “I’ve had this penis on my head for most of my life, but it’s gotten a lot more obvious in recent times. It’s hard for people to take my conspiracy theories seriously when there’s this cock dangling down around my eyes.

A doctor analyses the problem

“Even I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror sometimes. Which is saying something.”

Mr Trump says Chinese spies, under the orders of Barack Obama, secretly implanted the penis on his head while he was sleeping.

The operation will be filmed for an upcoming reality TV show The Appendage.

via Donald Trump to get penis surgically removed from forehead « The Shovel.

via Donald Trump to get penis surgically removed from forehead « The Shovel.

America- The Revolt of the Little People


The Revolt of the Little People

The re-election of a president, who has led the nation into one of the worst economic crises in our history, is a wake-up call for citizens on both sides of the political divide.  If the election proved one thing, it’s that we’ve now crossed the threshold into class warfare.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is that there’s only one way that this can end, and that’s very badly.

If the election had just been about the president’s record, he no doubt would have lost.  However, the election wasn’t about his record.  Instead, it was a referendum on this nation and what it has become – a country of haves and have-nots.  A nation of equality we are no longer; rather, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

In this election, the president was viewed as being the champion of Carl-Henric Svanberg’s  little people and Mitt Romney… well you know who he champions.  It’s not that the president actually represents the little people, but compared to Romney…well, there is no comparison.  Therefore, the little people voted with their hearts and not their pocketbooks.

When the little people get angry, there is hell to pay.  Down through history, revolution was all but inevitable in many cases, just ask the Russians and the French.  However, we the people need to realize that in a republic, such as ours, government is never a solution to problems (rather it’s a self-governing instrument of the people).  Neither does government have any money of its own – we the people create the wealth of the nation.  Therefore, it doesn’t help the situation when one class of people, in effect, vote themselves hand-outs from the government.  Hand-outs don’t grow on trees and they don’t come from the government either.

What we have inherited now is a polarized nation and, in the long run, the republic cannot survive as such.  We have to decide whether we are going to continue as a free nation or whether we’re going to gradually descend into either anarchy and/or rule by the elite.  No matter how it turns out, it is destined to be remembered as the Revolt of the Little People.

via The Ethical Warrior.

via The Ethical Warrior.

Romney Had No Votes in Many Urban Precincts


Romney Had No Votes in Many Urban Precincts

CBS News reports “it is now becoming clear just how lopsided President Obama’s victory was in some cities: in dozens of urban precincts, Mitt Romney earned literally zero votes.”

“The Phildadelphia Inquirer reported today that, in 59 precincts in inner-city Philadelphia, the GOP nominee received not a single vote. And according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, nine precincts in Cleveland returned zero Romney votes.”

“At first blush, it seems almost impossible: how, even in some of the most heavily Democratic strongholds in the country, could a major party‘s presidential candidate fail to earn even one vote?”

via Romney Had No Votes in Many Urban Precincts.

via Romney Had No Votes in Many Urban Precincts.

White House Declares New National Holiday


President Obama, exercising his new mandate, declared a new national holiday honoring his election to a second term in a press release titled Up Yours! The President kicked off the new day of reflection and celebration in Washington by continuing his castigation of the rich, for “not wanting to pay another dime” in taxes and for seeking to “pay down the deficit” on the “backs” of his constituents.

In reply, Congressional Republicans issued their own press release ridiculing the new holiday as National Sarcasm Day. Americans earning $250,000 a year are not all that rich, they claim, at least not filthy rich. But one more dime, they concede, tongue firmly in cheek, is not too much to ask in order to avoid the fiscal cliff. They invite every American, in a sarcastic initiative of their own, to send a shiny dime to the White House.

The White House, in reply to the Republican reply, points to its previous press release, Up Yours, which reminds those still waiting for the Florida election results that the President won and that people have given him a broad mandate to do pretty much whatever he wants.

via The Spoof : White House Declares New National Holiday funny satire story.

via The Spoof : White House Declares New National Holiday funny satire story.

Mitt Romney’s Gift of a Rolex


Mitt Romney in a moment of generosity gives his current wife a gift of a Rolex Watch.

Kerry Budget may be slashed by €1.32 million


This week it emerged that the government has warned it may slash Kerry County Council’s budget by as much as €1.32 million for the rest of the year, due to under-payment of the household charge. That will cause a serious reduction in the council’s ability to provide services in housing and roads, environmental services and more.

That’s bad enough. What’s worse is that the axe won’t discriminate: those who dutifully paid up – the silent majority – will be hit just as hard as those who didn’t.�

About 18,000 households in Kerry haven’t registered to pay the household charge, according to the latest figures. The remaining 40,000 or so who did register to pay – who did not break the law, in other words – will have to brace themselves for reduced services anyway. Pay or don’t pay, the results are the same: cuts to the services we’re entitled to. ��

via FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK By Colin Lacey | Kerry’s Eye.

via FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK By Colin Lacey | Kerry’s Eye.

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