You really shouldn’t have smoked that whole joint by yourself.
1. Before it really kicks in, you make big plans to be productive…
Which lasts about five minutes.
2. Like you actually can’t get off the couch.
3. Sleeping. Eating. Watching cartoons. This is your life now.
4. Seriously, you can’t stop eating.
5. Plus you make terrible dietary choices.
7. Except getting another bag of chips.
8. And the quality of the weed you’re smoking.
9. Nothing anyone says makes any sense.
10. Because it takes about 20 minutes to process a simple thought.
11. MeSource: biggaysteve666.tumblr.comanwhile you stop making sense to anyone else.
12. They can tell you’re stoned, and they’re JUDGING YOU.
13. You think you’re being really profound, but you’re not.
14. And everything becomes HILARIOUS.
15. Like, so ridic funny. Like, you may never stop laughing.
16. You’re easily entertained by the STUPIDEST things.
17. And believe me, NO ONE ELSE is amused.
18. Then you start to get really, really paranoid.
19. Like you’re no longer sure you remember how to breathe.
20. You don’t remember anything else either.
21. You start to feel like you’re incapable of doing anything that ISN’T getting high.
22. And, I mean, that’s kind of true.
23. But you somehow convince yourself that marijuana is a performance enhancer.
24. You forget how to behave sober.
25. All the while you hope for some once-in-a-lifetime stoned experience.
26. And instead you end up wasting hours on YouTube and staring off into space.
27. But let’s face it, you were going to do that, anyway.
With crimes committed by MPs already quite numerous, anything which reduces the number of potential crimes for them to be found guilty of must be a good thing, according sources at the House of Commons.
A sitting MP, who wished to remain nameless, told us that reducing the number of crimes available to those representing constituencies across England and Wales was a positive step for British politics.
“Any voter caring to glance at newspaper headlines over the past couple of years will have been truly aghast at the illegal antics of those voted into power,” he began.
“To think that there remains countless opportunities for MP’s to err from the expectations of the British public, places us in an invidious position.”
“So what damage is there in removing one of the most harmful allegations left open to us – drug abuse – from the buffet of crimes we frequently avail of.”
Proponent of drug decriminalisation, Sheila Mount, dismissed calls for a relaxing of the law to suit politicians.
“Loosening drug regulations for the benefit of MP’s usage?”
“Permitting medical trials of potentially life-threatening substances for MP’s?”
The Department said that notwithstanding the reluctance to loosen current controls on cannabis generally, its expert clinical advice is that the cannabis-based drug Sativex, “is a valid treatment option”.
Sativex is used in other countries for treating symptoms associated with multiple sclerosis.
The Irish Medicines Board has received a market authorisation request from GW Pharma, the makers of Sativex and the agency has recommended the approval of the product for the Irish market based on an analysis of its quality, safety and efficacy.
The Department said its officials have been engaging with experts on how best to legally describe cannabis-based medicinal products, while maintaining existing controls on cannabis and cannabis substances.
Sativex is available in Britain, Germany, Denmark and elsewhere for the relief of symptoms of spasticity for patients with MS, where other treatments have failed to provide adequate benefit.
It said that while the legislative amendments required can be made by means of statutory instrument, the legal issues are complex.
Dr David Finn, Lecturer in Pharmacology & Therapeutics at the Centre for Pain Research NUI Galway, said the issue was about developing therapeutic agents targeting the body in a specific way for a specific purpose.
He said it was not about smoking and inhaling cannabis as a drug of abuse.