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Too funny for the Church? Comedy show gets “excommunicated”


Licking a crucifix and pressing some very hot buttons: German satirist Carolin Kebekus 

THIS SORT OF THING really shouldn’t happen. Article 5 of the German constitution clearly states that “Freedom of the press and freedom of reporting by means of broadcasts and films shall be guaranteed. There shall be no censorship.” This freedom is absolute – except in cases involving a publicly sanctioned religious group, above all the Catholic Church.

The latest case: This week the German TV broadcaster WDR abruptly cancelled a completed and broadcast-ready satire show starring comedienne Carolin Kebekus. Set to premiere tonight at 8:15, it was to be the popular performer’s first solo show. But now her series has been trashed and she won’t be hired back anytime soon. Why? It turns out that the centerpiece of Kebekus! was going to be an elaborate rapper sequence lampooning the Catholic Church.

The offending musical number starts out with Kebekus dying of boredom at Sunday mass, when suddenly the church door opens and she appears in person, now dressed in a white nun’s habit and wearing golden chains around her neck and waist. During the ensuing rap number, this naughty nun twirls her chains, repeatedly licks a crucifix, flashes an altar, joins other nuns in dancing around a burning bush, and otherwise desecrates revered religious symbols. In other sections, an altar boy raps about how superior he is for being Catholic, and a pudgy gangsta-style rapper (German-Moroccan rap artist MC Rene) dressed in priestly robes expounds on virgins, celibacy, and pedophilia. (“In the church I’m the king,/Everyone kneels when I sing./Skip the bitches, I look away,/Celibacy means I do it my way” etc.).

The guiding theme of the video is the popular hym “Danke dem Herrn” (“Thank -you Lord”), a favorite of Sunday school classes and bible camps, sort of a Central European equivalent of Kumbaya. But Kebekus gives this normally ho-hum tune a different twist:

Thank-you for my golden chains,

Thank-you for my virginity,

Thank-you for letting me wear the same dress everyday.

She and the other nuns deliver a break dance before singing:

Thank-you for my fear of gays,

Thank-you for the condom ban,

Thank-you for threatening hell for every sin I commit.

You can read the entire German song text here.

Hence the rap-song’s title: “Dunk den Herrn.” Yes, that’s really “dunk,” i.e. what you might think of doing to a donut.

WDR explained its decision as follows:

Particularly the scenes with the crucifix could injure viewers’ religious convictions. This was and is not the intention of the “Young TV” editorial group. Nor could it be reconciled with the WDR {code of conduct}, which states clearly in Article 5 that the religious convictions of the population are to be respected.

In other words, there shall be no censorship – until there is.

This sort of censorship is nothing new here – I’ve already written about similar cases in this space before. But those who deplore such satires would do well to reflect on where they come from in the first place, namely from the ban on religious free expression at the expense of basic civil rights.

Let me cut WDR some slack here and admit that the segment is about as blasphemous as you could ever get. Call it Piss Christ on crack. But that’s the whole point of the exercise: Provoking a response. If they’d just let these caricatures go through without comment, the public would no doubt tire of them quickly, and people like me, who don’t even watch TV, would never even have known about this one. As it is, “Dunk den Herrn” is now attracting millions of visitors to Youtube.

You’d think people would learn.

via Too funny for the Church? Comedy show gets “excommunicated” – Alan Nothnagle – Open Salon.

Vatican reeling as DNA tests show communion wafers contain 0% Christ


The Vatican is this morning facing a further crisis after routine DNA tests revealed that the communion wafers used in Sunday mass contain 0% of the body and blood of Christ.

The findings are sure to pile further pressure on the ailing religious organisation, just days after their Chief Executive resigned citing ‘personal reasons’ and ‘being a bit old’.

The news will concern billions of Catholic consumers, previously led to believe they were consuming Christ himself each Sunday morning.

Catholic Simon Williams told us, “So what have I been eating all these years? It’s not bloody horse is it?”

“With the amount of cash I’m encouraged to put in the collection plate I can’t believe they’re scrimping on the ingredients.”

“You’ll be telling me next that the stuff they dip the wafer in isn’t actually blood.”

Catholic crisis

A spokesperson for the Vatican explained that the DNA test results merely highlight the incompatibility of science and religion.

They told us, “Where is your faith that the wafer is the body of Christ? Science can’t tell you everything, and just as it can’t prove God doesn’t exist, it can’t prove the wafer ISN’T the body of Christ.”

“Oh, it has? Right. Well, there’s probably something in the Bible about that. I’ll have to go and look.”

via Vatican reeling as DNA tests show communion wafers contain 0% Christ.

via Vatican reeling as DNA tests show communion wafers contain 0% Christ.

Topless Nuns Spray Jesus’s Sperm In Paris Protest


Topless nuns were seen hosing down anti-gay marriage demonstrators with “holy sperm” last Sunday in Paris.

Go ahead. Read that sentence again.

Of course, these weren’t real nuns! FEMEN, the breast-baring Ukrainian women’s movement, is famous for spreading awareness about a cause through nudity. When FEMEN found out that more than 100,000 Catholics would be protesting against France’s legislation to allow gay marriage and adoption, they got their weapons ready. With various slogans written across their chests, including “In Gay We Trust” and “Fuck God,” Femen members got creative with baby powder, spraying the mist on protesters, calling it “Jesus Sperm.”

In both photos and videos, the women of FEMEN are shown being shoved by both protestors and policemen, with one activist losing a tooth and another with a broken nose. Sounds a bit scary. Alas, as the gay rights movement begins to gain acceptance in more countries throughout the world, protests on both sides of the debate are sure to spark some fire … and spread some more cleavage.

via Topless Nuns Spray Jesus’s Sperm In Paris Protest.

via Topless Nuns Spray Jesus’s Sperm In Paris Protest.

40-hour week on cards for teachers –


Taoiseach wants staff in schools and hospitals to work longer hours

THE Taoiseach Enda Kenny has told government ministers to include an extension of the working day and week in their submissions of “additional proposals” to significantly reduce the public sector pay and pensions bill, the Sunday Independent can reveal.

As a result, Education Minister Ruairi Quinn and Health Minister Dr James Reilly are this week expected to bring to Cabinet plans to increase the working week in schools and hospitals to 40 hours.

While the Government remain

via 40-hour week on cards for teachers – National News – Independent.ie.

via 40-hour week on cards for teachers – National News – Independent.ie.

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