The restaurants are called ‘Giraffe’ because the food is mainly ‘giraffe’
The company announced that it was now close to perfecting the experience of shopping for mystery animal parts in a windowless hangar staffed by polyester-clad accidents.
Tescologist Wayne Hayes said: “Now you can sit in a Giraffe watching somebody’s drooling ratbag smear ketchup into your coat while your ice cream melts in the boot of your car.
“Notify Dante, because we just laid the concrete for hell’s basement.”
He added: “Foreigners stroll around local markets before enjoying a tasty meal in a family-run restaurant and now we can have the same experience on a grey industrial estate where you can exchange your vouchers for some pretend happiness.”
Until yesterday Sainsburys was the champion of retail misery by making people think of Jamie Oliver dribbling over their food every time they shopped as well as describing a mass-produced cottage pie like it was a new indie band.
But they were challenged strongly when Morrison’s paid Ant and Dec to prance around Britain pretending to talk to ruddy-faced suppliers while skilfully avoiding abattoirs and Eastern Europeans bent double over a beetroot field.
Hayes said: “You did it Tesco, you magnificent son of a bitch.”
Britain’s supermarket giants have been accused of caving in to the genetic modification lobby by dropping their decade-long stance against selling chickens fed on genetically modified crops.
The move has been seen as a key victory for GM food giants such as Monsanto which, environmental groups claim, will benefit from the switch. It is also being seen as a precursor to the introduction of GM meat and poultry by “softening up” consumer resistance to the controversial technology.
It has emerged that Marks & Spencer, the Co-operative and Sainsbury’s are following Tesco, Asda and Morrisons and reversing policies that prohibit their suppliers from feeding GM soya to chickens used in the production of their own-brand eggs and poultry. The move came following fierce lobbying from groups such as the National Farmers Union and the British Poultry Council.
The supermarket giants said suppliers had told them that non-GM feed for poultry is now too difficult and too expensive to obtain. There are also concerns that there is a risk non-GM and GM animal feed could become mixed up, making it more difficult to police the UK food chain.
But non-GM feed producers in Brazil, a major source of animal feed to the UK, expressed surprise at the claims, saying they were producing record amounts of animal feed. They said there was no difficulty separating the two types of feed and claimed the move was more about the UK wanting to do more business with US GM companies.
Environmental groups warned that there would be consumer protests if non-GM options were removed. “The supermarkets should stand up for their customers and secure long-term contracts for all their non-GM food and feed supplies,” said Dr Helen Wallace of the campaign group GeneWatch UK, which is critical of the GM lobby. “If access to non-GM feed for chickens is allowed to be blocked today, how long before we have no choices left?
“People have a right to choose what food they want to eat and we must guard against corporate interests, cartels and monopolies taking over global food and feed supplies.”
The UK’s new position is at odds with its European neighbours. Supermarket chains in Germany, France and Austria are increasing their use of non-GM soya in livestock production in response to consumer demand. French supermarket giant Carrefour is launching a label to signal to its customers that its animals have not been fed GM food. Abrange, which represents Brazil’s non-GM soya producers, said that the desire for clearer labelling was shared by the British public. It pointed to a recent survey that suggested 67% of people prefer milk, eggs, poultry and meat produced with non-GM feed.
It said claims that non-GM soya was hard to source following a temporary slowdown in exports were inaccurate. “This year Brazil has enjoyed a record soybean harvest of over 82m tonnes, large enough to more than provide Europe’s entire soya meal demand,” Abrange said.
The organisation said it believed the UK was repositioning itself on GM technology. “This change could well have as much to do with interest in opening the UK to imports of GM soya from the US than to the temporary slowdown in Brazil.”
In a statement Tim J Smith, Tesco group technical director, explained that the supermarket chain was making the decision to buy livestock fed on GM soya because the risk of finding GM material in non-GM feed was increasing and because 80% of the world’s soya is now modified.
Environmental groups believe the government is increasingly enthusiastic about GM. Environment secretary Owen Paterson has branded sceptics of the technology as “humbugs”. Supporters say GM food will help feed a burgeoning population, but sceptics say the claims made for the technology are overblown.
A Monsanto spokesman said they were not aware of a rise in demand for its GM soya product since the supermarkets changed their policy. He said the supermarkets’ decision was taken after lobbying from farmers’ groups, concerned about the rising costs of animal feed, not as a result of pressure from the GM lobby.
Supermarkets today wield unprecedented power on a global scale. From Bangladesh to South Africa, supermarkets dictate the terms at which overseas producers are forced to sell their goods. With threats to find new suppliers, they force prices down around the world
But the workers who produce those goods – from fruit and vegetables to flowers, wine, cheap clothes and tea – feel their devastating impact every day. Working in factories or on plantations, they face long hours, terrible working conditions and little or no trade union rights. Despite working 80 hours a week, many workers are not able to earn a living wage.
The big four supermarkets – ASDA, Morrisons, Tesco and Sainsbury’s – control 75% of the grocery market in the UK and aim to keep their prices low and their profits high. They use their enormous size and influence to put their suppliers under immense pressure to produce goods as cheaply as possible. As well as squeezing their suppliers on price, they dictate terms and agreements, like forcing them to take on costs for discounts and promotions. These pressures then get passed on to the people who grow, pick and pack our food in low wages, long hours and poor working conditions.
To tackle supermarket power War on Want has campaigned for many years for the government to introduce a supermarket watchdog to stop supermarkets bullying their suppliers. After years of successful campaigning the government has now agreed to put forward proposals, and we are now pushing hard to make sure that it has the powers it needs to be effective.
As well as bullying their suppliers, supermarkets are continuing their push to dominate the UK market through opening more and more high street stores. War on Want is proud to be part of the Tescopoly alliance that campaigns against the negative impacts of supermarket power on workers’ rights, local businesses, communities and the environment and supports local campaigns against new supermarket developments.
Supermarket work at best is dull and monotonous. It is an area where workers are constantly exploited.
It should be noted Lidl have a long history of exploitation, poor working conditions and spying on employees
What follows is a Diary kept by a Lidl worker.
The Diary is in its original form
Name is withheld for fear of victimization
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Posted by Lidl Bylidl at 09:35
Lidl can feel like that sometimes. I think the whole disillutionment with my job has led me to probably come across at work as a bit heartless and not caring. Probably right somewhat.
A partially sighted old woman approaches. She struggles to reach to the depth on the trolley to pull out the items. The lassie on second till comes out of the office, and helps her pull her trolley to the checkout. Then leaves. So I help her to pack. I can hear the people in the queue behind saying,
“That’s shocking that is he no gonna help her. Terrible that.”
I pay no notice. I help her pack, rush her away, on to the next customer I think being honest without ever saying cheerio. Maybe if the checkout girl had helped me with this, I wouldn’t be so stressed and rushing them out the door.
Queue queue queue
Posted by Lidl Bylidl at 09:39
I was also seen by the manager, in passing, as changing my break recieved from 15 to zero when clocking out. He asked me what I was doing, I told him. As I went to the canteen to collect my coat, I seen him and the soon to be also manager smirking.
Well? Why the f*** should I give the money to you. It’s better in my empty empty pocket.
This after being scheduled in for yet another 4hour shift, which means no breaks. Which is bullshit when 4hours & 5 minutes does.
And the fact that we were out half an hour late, as always, I had a break entitlement. Which I didn’t get
Friday, 1 March 2013
Posted by Lidl Bylidl at 04:23
The scales are broken, so I’ve to sift through, literally, over a thousand polly bags, for the purposes of counting them. Then, floor cleaners broken, so I’ve to mop the entire shop floor, just the two of us, before being allowed home.
& I didn’t get home until after midnight.
This after again being scheduled for exactly a four hour shift, which means no breaks. As per my shift went over the four hours, which meant I never got the breaks I should have.
Sixteen hours I’ve worked since my last break.
& I don’t think I’ve left that building on time in 2013.
Thursday, 14 March 2013
Posted by Lidl Bylidl at 16:18 Thursday
Each day is a step closer to me telling those above to ram it.
An example, if you don’t mind from both of my two most recent shifts.
I am approaching the end of my break. A break which was delayed half an hour until 4.30pm, (during a 0800-1800 shift). The manager who took over the second till while I was away rings the bell. I’m in the toilet. I hear the bell. My break is not yet over. I emerge to find six people standing at my queue, and catch him jumping in his car and driving away in the background. YOU COULDN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP
I am first till. The queue builds up, around 8 people. I ring for a manager to jump on, theres only two of us in the shop. He doesn’t come. I’m getting flustered and shaky. I RING AGAIN. I jump off the till to check if he’s still in the office. With 10-15 people stood there! Three full minutes pass of me nervously passing through shopping. HE WAS OUTSIDE WITH THE PLUMBER. YOU COULDN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
On both occasions I confronted them afterwords. The first brushed over it. The second almost managed to prove my own point.
P.S, I just walked home 3 miles in the pissing rain, because I had to re-sweep and re-clean the floor.
Posted by Lidl Bylidl at 16:24
Phoned home as I raged hurriedly along the road from work tonight in the rain. I can’t help but talk about it even though I know It’s pushing people away. My mates laugh it off and take the piss. But I’ve worked in retail for five years. In five different jobs. I know how I expect to be treated, not just at work but in life. And this is bollocks. I can hear it in my mums voice that the way I’m being treated and talking is upsetting her. Worrying about me. She said she wished it was different. And so do I
Posted by Lidl Bylidl at 16:45
Feeling Trapped and so Low
Manager told me it was my fault. If I had done it right first time I wouldn’t have to do it again. It’s almost comparable to how a victim of domestic abuse must feel. I’ve been almost brainwashed into thinking the way I’m treated is okay. Because I’m trapped in this job. Thoroughly miserable and trapped. What a thankless task. Even after racing about like a blue arsed fly to get out on time, It’s my fault. Feeling worthless lonely and miserable. It’s already come to blows. It’s a matter of time before i put an end to this shit. But I can’t afford it.
Posted by Lidl Bylidl at 16:52
Feel like I could burst into tears. If Morrissey sings just the right line It’ll come
Reblogged from http://lidlbylidl.blogspot.co.uk/
Tesco accused of using electronic armbands to monitor its staff.
Supermarket grades employees on efficiency and can reprimand them for breaks, says ex-worker
Tesco workers are being made to wear electronic armbands that managers can use to grade how hard they are working.
A former staff member has claimed employees are given marks based on how efficiently they work in a bid to improve productivity and can be called in front of management if they take unscheduled toilet breaks.
The armbands are worn by warehouse staff and forklift drivers, who use them to scan the stock they collect from supermarket distribution points and send it out for delivery. Tesco said the armbands are used to improve efficiency and save its staff from having to carry around pens and paper to keep track of deliveries. But the device is also being used to keep an eye on employees’ work rates, the ex-staff member said.
The former employee said the device provided an order to collect from the warehouse and a set amount of time to complete it. If workers met that target, they were awarded a 100 per cent score, but that would rise to 200 per cent if they worked twice as quickly. The score would fall if they did not meet the target.
If, however, workers did not log a break when they went to the toilet, the score would be “surprisingly lower”, according to the former staff member, who did not want to be named but worked in an Irish branch of Tesco. He said that some would be called before management if they were not deemed to be working hard enough. “The guys who made the scores were sweating buckets and throwing stuff around the place,” he said. He said the devices put staff under huge pressure and many of his colleagues using them in Ireland were eastern Europeans, with limited English. He said lunch breaks did not result in staff being marked down. Tesco confirmed that the devices were also in use across its UK stores.
Tesco in Ireland told the Irish Independent that a “break” function could be used to register genuine stoppages and around 25 minutes had been allowed per day for that. But any other time would be monitored. A Tesco spokesman told The Independent: “Arm-mounted terminals are a working aid and at no time are they used to monitor colleagues while on their breaks. They make it easier for our colleagues to carry out their role as they don’t need to carry paperwork around the distribution centre.”
According to one expert, the laws surrounding surveillance at work give employers a lot of liberty. But Peter Daly, a solicitor at Bindmans LLP, added that firms risked possible lawsuits if employees felt they were being discriminated against.
He said: “There is not a huge problem with surveillance itself as far as the law is concerned, the issue is the data that is taken from it. In principle, there is nothing stopping you watching what your members of staff do; huge numbers of workplaces keep their CCTV footage for a long time, for example.
“With this information, there is a question about how it is stored, what it is stored for and whether people can understand it. If this is personal information, then the subjects are entitled to receive it under the Data Protection Act. Employers should be careful… because it could potentially be disclosed in a discrimination claim.”
Big Brother: Devices for keeping tabs on workers
Delivery firms have long used GPS tracking systems to keep track of where their drivers whereabouts in order to help predict delivery times. It is also helpful for making sure the drivers are working as hard as their managers desire, of course. But the drivers have now begun fighting back by jamming the signals.
One report, published yesterday, said that the high rate of GPS jamming incidents during rush hour suggested many of the drivers were finding a way to moonlight away from the electronic eye of their bosses.
A 12-volt jamming device can be bought for as little as £30, according to Techworld – but worryingly, there are concerns that the devices could also block devices used by air traffic.
When Sam Allardyce took over as manager of an under-performing Newcastle United in 2007, he was viewed as one of football’s most scientifically minded bosses. He soon rigged all of his players up to heart-rate monitors for a pre-season friendly to see who was working hard and who was not. The motivational technique did not appear to work, however. Allardyce was sacked soon afterwards.
An older method for keeping tabs on staff came when the time clock was invented in 1888. The operation is simple: cards bearing employees’ names are inserted into a clocking machine, which timestamps them.
They allow managers to keep an eye on when staff “clock in” and “clock out” and provide one of the most enduring sources of motivation for staff to turn up on time.
Staff working in many call centres are constantly monitored for that well-known recorded telephone phrase: “quality and training purposes”. Knowing that a manager may be listening in or checking up on how many calls workers have made may be the motivational push they need.
Tesco Burgers Are 29% Horsemeat: See What Else Goes Into Their ‘Everyday Value’ Products
So what about Tesco Beer?
Typicl food snobbery – okay to eat a pig, not okay to eat a horse; fine to eat a leg, awful to eat tripe… I’m a meat eater – i eat animals, horse=big-nosed-pig-on-stilts to me.
‘I got some Tesco burgers out of the freezer earlier aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnndddddddddd they’re off!
Why were they testing the DNA in the first place?” Someone found a jockey’s whip in their 1/4 pounder.’
Can’t believe that woman was sent to hospital after eating a horse meat burger…… Her condition is said to be stable.’
‘Is eating horsemeat really that bad? Let’s put it to the vote. All those in favour say ‘aye’, all those against say ‘neigh’.’
Traces of Zebra found in Tesco barcodes.
29% of the meat content in Tesco’s hamburgers turns out to be horse?! No wonder they gave me the trots!
A Tesco burger walks into a bar. “Pint please”. “I can’t hear you” says the barman. “Sorry” replies the burger. “I’m a little bit horse”.
Best burgers recipe. Mince meat, garlic powder, paprika, fresh herbs, an egg and fine diced stallions. I mean…. Scallions..
went to a Tesco café yesterday and ordered a burger. They asked me if I
wanted anything on it, and I said: ‘Yes – a fiver each way.’
Does anyone have a tooth pick? I had a Tesco burger last night and there’s
still a bit between my teeth.
My daughter has always wanted a pony, so I’m buying her a Tesco Quarter
Pounder for her birthday.
My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so I went out and bought tickets for
the Grand National.
If you think horse meat’s bad, wait until you try Tesco’s veggie burgers.
They’re made of genuine uniQuorn.
Scientist: ‘Sir, we’ve discovered horse meat in your burgers.’
Tesco boss: ‘Why the long face?’
I won’t eat Tesco burgers. They may be low in fat, but they have a very
high Shergar content.
Tesco are giving treble points on your Clubcard for all burgers and petrol,
starting today. The deal’s called Only Fuel and Horses.
What do you call a burnt Tesco burger? Black Beauty.
A motorist gets pulled over by a police officer, who asks him to blow into
a breathalyser. The machine beeps. ‘I’m sorry Sir,’ says the officer.
‘You’re over the limit. Can you tell me what you have had tonight?’
‘Nothing Officer,’ replies the man. ‘Just a burger from Tesco.’ ‘That
explains it,’ says the policeman. ‘I knew I could smell Red Rum.’
They’ve found horse meat in Tesco burgers? It’s an unbridled disaster.
A Tesco burger walks into a bar. ‘A pint please.’
‘I can’t hear you,’ says the barman.
‘Sorry’ replies the burger. ‘I’m a little bit horse.’
I selected some burgers on the Tesco website. And then clicked ‘Add to
Those Tesco horse burgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony.
A woman has been taken to hospital after eating Tesco burgers. Her
condition is said to be stable.
I used to work on the Tesco meat counter, but it was like flogging a dead
Last night I ate a Tesco burger, an Iceland burger and an Aldi burger to
find out which had the best taste. Tesco won by a short head.
I think someone may be sending me death threats. I woke up this morning
with a Tesco burger in my bed.
Have you heard? Now traces of zebra have been found in Tesco barcodes.
I bought an ‘award-winning’ Tesco burger. I didn’t realise they meant it
had won the Cheltenham Gold Cup.
I used to work for Tesco, but I was fired. I got an email about a delivery
of horse meat and I marked it as spam.
Horse meat in Tesco burgers? What are the odds on that?
I tried to take some burgers back to Tesco but they said they wouldn’t
accept them. Looks like I’m saddled with them.
Husband: ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.’
Wife: ‘Why don’t you go to Tesco?’
Personally, I think people who don’t like eating horse meat are being a bit
Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain
Are you in favour of horse meat in your burgers? Yay or Neigh?
I won’t be switching to Tesco Finest burgers. They’re so expensive that
buying enough for a big family dinner won’t leave you much change from a
I was going to give up fast food for January, but I fell at the final
hurdle and had a Tesco burger.
Just been to Tesco and bought a bottle of Bacardi, a bottle of Lamb’s and
some burgers. So that’s white rum, navy rum and Red Rum.
Despite the recent scandal, Tesco insist they use only meat of the highest
quality. A spokesman said: ‘Our meat has to clear several hurdles before it
goes on sale.’ And the most groan-inducing’.’.’. What’s in this burger? It
just jumped over my chips. I don’t know why there’s a fuss all of a sudden.
There’s been horse meat in Tesco burgers for donkey’s years.
I like my burgers with a side saddle and neighonnaise.
I hope Tesco were selling those burgers at hoof price.
So there’s horse meat in Tesco’s burgers. Don’t worry, it’s not the mane
Forget the Everyday Value burgers – I only eat those mini-burgers you have
as snacks. You know, the horse d’oeuvres.
I bought some Tesco burgers – I wanted to get venison ones, but they were
I ordered a Tesco burger the other day – but asked them to hold the
Tesco would’ve got away with it if it wasn’t for the DN Neigh test.
The discount retailer alleged that Tesco had failed to compare like with like, had not stated the correct sale price of relevant Aldi products and had failed to compare the relevant quantities.
Aldi wittingly had used the example of a bag of mint humbugs to support their case. It rather looks like The Tesco humbug has been exposed yet once again.
It relation to Tesco just remember every little bit helps to hurt somebody else